Friday, July 30, 2010

Two weeks have passed

It has been just over two weeks since we welcomed Faith in and 12 minutes we had to say good bye. It is still heartbreaking. Everywhere I turn someone I know has had a baby, and they are healthy. I am so happy for them that they don't have to go through what Will and I have gone through, but at the same time it hurts so much because we don't have our little girl with us.

I still have trouble with being alone, and going out in public. Today was the first day I was alone, had no one stay with me for the day while my husband was at work. It hasn't been easy but I am getting through it. I hate going out in public, especially when I am alone because I am afraid I am going to have an emotional breakdown in public.

Missing my baby girl!


Thursday, July 22, 2010

One Week

Today Faith would be 1 week old. It is hard to believe that she is gone. I still miss her very much. I miss holding her in my arms. Her time here was too short. What a precious child!

Through this journey I have no regrets. The choice to terminate the pregnancy or continue on. If I was to terminate her to me it would be saying, "Go ahead kill my baby girl.", there is no way I would be able to live with myself. The choice to continue on with the pregnancy was the best choice. She deserved a chance to fight to live. I could not play God with her life. I chose to let God choose whether she lives or not. As difficult as it has been, I know I made the right choice. Even though I only had 12 minutes with her they were so precious.

Faith I love you and I look forward to seeing you in Heaven someday! Love you my baby girl! XOXOXOX


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

It Hurts So Much!

It has been 5 days since Faith has been born and left to be in the arms of Jesus. The mornings are the worse. I miss her so much. When I first found out about the TD diagnosis people were encouraging me with their miracles. I prayed and believed God for a miracle for my baby girl. I refused to terminate the pregnancy. Hoping that God heal her, but I didn't get my miracle. She should be home with me, not in Heaven!

Oh Faith I miss you and Love you!!!! XOXOXOX


Sunday, July 18, 2010


Yesterday (July 17, 2010) was Faith's funeral. It was a difficult day but with the strength of God we got through it.

I am honoured to have given Faith a chance to fight and live. She is one special girl. Even though she passed away I will still love God. The grieveing process is not that easy right now, and I am sure it will be a long one. I know we are not alone.

Thank you to those who prayed for her, where here for us. Whether it was to help drive us to appointments, meals and finacially. Most of all thank you to all that come out yesterday.



Friday, July 16, 2010


Sorry for not being able to write in here it has been a crazy week and a half.

On July 5, I was walking up the stairs and I felt a something go down my leg. The next day the bottom of my night gown was wet. My sister in law took me to the hospital to make sure I am ok. My amniotic fluid started to slowly leak. They were trying to prevent the baby from coming early so I was kept in the hospital on bed rest. On the Wed night I started feeling some back labour and was sent down to the birthing suite. That is where I spent the rest of my stay. The doctor talked to us about inducing because of the high risk of infection, so we agreed. From Thursday morning (July 8 to July 13) went through 8 rounds of inducing. On the 12th of July my water broke. On July 14 they were going to take another method of inducing but I went into labour early morning. The contractions and labour pains went all day and all night. July 15, at 1:46am we welcomed Faith Doris Farrow. She is beautiful. My cheeks, Will's lips, and bright lue eyes! Her life was short. She passed away at 1:58am. My precious angel is in Heaven. I love you and miss you so much! xoxox

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Getting Closer

In 8 weeks we should be welcoming Faith Doris into this world. I am excited because I finally get to meet her. At the same time I am scared out of my mind. It hurts so much. Frustraing because I don't know how to prepare for her arrival. Whether she is going to be healed or if she is only with us for a short time. I do not know whether we should set up her room or not.

I hate TD!!!! Why does this exist???