33rd Birthday tomorrow

As we are coming up to my 33rd birthday and Easter weekend I am finding it difficult. Last year my birthday my only wish was the resutls from the amniocentisis was that Faith did not have Thanatophoric Dysplasia. I didn't get it. So I am reminded of that this year and not really in the mood to celebrate at all. At the same time I just want to go on and enjoy life. Still hurts a lot.

This year I am just glad to be surrounded by my family. That is what means a lot to me this year!

Anna

God Desires Relationship

Today I was reading Exodus 20:1-21, yes it is about the law and 10 commandments. But verses 18-21 stood out to me. God wanted to talk to people directly but the Israelites were too afraid. They would only let Moses repeat back what God says. How many times do we depend on our Pastors and church leadership to bring us God's word. Yes, I am guilty of that myself. It is great that our Pastors bring us the work every week. They continue to seek the Lord everyday themselves, so they can bring the word to us.

So with all that said and done, how is your relationship with God?

Anna

The Wilderness

This past Sunday at church the topic was The Wilderness. James 1:1-5 really stuck out out me. Especially verses 3 to 4. "Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it's work so you may be mature and not lacking anything." James 1:3-4 (NIV) As I have stated in the past entries that this past year has been a nightmare. I questioned whether God was there or not. Hoped that by not terminating the pregnancy that God would reward me by proving the medical field wrong and bring home a healthy baby. Through it all God was there but no we didn't bring home our baby. So what good came out of this? Within the first 3 years of our marriage, getting pregnant, have to bury our child and to top it off my husband losing his job. That is a lot to go through within 3 years. Through this my Will and I have come through it all and we are still in love and stronger than we were as a couple last year. Anna

Almost a Year living in this Nightmare

Well last year at this time that is when my nightmare began. That is when we found out about the heart condition and then a couple days later was the 20 wk ultrasound and that is when they noticed the skeltetal dysplasia. When does life get back to normal? It has almost been 9 mths since Faith made her short apperance on earth and it still hurts. I miss my child so much! For all you parents out there who have your children, hold them close and make sure you tell them you love them. Cherish each moment you have! You never know how long they will be here on earth. Anna

This Weekend

Last weekend started off well but didn't end very well. Maybe I pushed myself too hard. The next day at church something happned that totally ruined it. I spent the rest of the weekend in a really bad state. It lasted for two days. I was not able to do anything but sit at home and cry.

This weekend was way better. Friday my Mom moved in to her apartment! Yippeee!!!! I am so happy for her. She deserves to have a place of her own. She doesn't have to share her apartment with anyone! It is great to see Mom happy!

Saturday was my friend Traci's birthday party. It was awesome! We went Milestone's Resturant in Whitby. It was nice to sit back relax. Afterwards we hung out at Traci's for a bit!

Sunday I went to visit the church I used to attend in Ajax called Christian Life Centre. It felt like I was at home. It was nice to see everyone. My friend Andrea is home from Romania. It was so nice to see her. Whenever she is home I make sure I see her. She is a missionary. I got to meet the new Pastor, Pastor Sam today as well. I heard so many good things about him. The message was Emulate. Which means to Copy, Imitate. We are to imitate Christ.

After church had more fellowship time with Traci and Glen.

The rest of the day I spent it with my hubby! We have been having problems with our kitchen faucet. It was constantly dripping so we replaced it. Then it was leaking in the basement. That got fixed. Then the past few days we turn on the tap and it was a little tricle of water was coming out. The rest of the taps were fine all over the house. Will finally figured out the problem, it was clogged, well that got fixed today! Whoo hooo!!!

Tomorrow is day 3 of my weekend. I wonder what tomorrow will bring???

Good Night and God Bless you!!!

Anna