Monday, November 22, 2010

Christmas is coming

Christmas is my favorite holiday. This year is going to be tough, but we are going to make the best of it.

This year I did not attend the Santa Claus parade, I am just not ready for that yet. I know just seeing all these parents with their kids will be hard to look at. Knowing that I will never have these moments with Faith. So insead I went to church for the IWorship night. Yesterday after the mall is closed they keep Santa's place open so pets can have their pictures with Santa. We caught the few kids just finishing up. Will and I go teary eyed and couldn't stand their any longer.

I know we will get through it, please be patient with us.


Saturday, November 20, 2010

Days are better

I know I haven't been writing in here as often as I have been. Since I have returned back to work, I have been so tired. My days are better. When I see the babies at work it does not bother me as much. I find though when I hear a newborn cry that is what gets to me. When Faith was born she didn't cry, and her eyes were closed. The only movement I saw was her mouth and I could tell she was gasping for air. I wanted to breathe some air into her. If only I did, I might have had more than 12 minutes. As I have said before those 12 minutes were precious.

Am I still angry at God? No, not anymore.


Monday, November 1, 2010

Christmas 2010

So last year I was so excited for this coming Christmas till my dreams got shattered. I had so many hopes and dreams. This would be Faith's first Christmas. It still is, she is just in Heaven. She gets to spend her first Christmas celebrating Jesus' birthday with Jesus! Ok I am jealous now, lol! My response was this, not making a big deal about Christmas, no Christmas Tree going up. It finally hit me. Faith would love the tree being up. Faith would be happy to see us enjoying Christmas. So this year as hard is it is going to be, I am going to enjoy Christmas and the tree is going up.