Sunday, February 27, 2011

Better Days

Days are getting better. I still have the moments where I will break down and cry. There are times when I look at Faith's picture and I just want to hold her so bad. I am looking forward to the day when I get to hold her again. The waiting sucks but it will be worth it.

This morning I wasn't feeling the greatest but the thing that really stood out to me was that I really wanted to go to church. This mornings message was on Jehovah Rapha, the Lord our Healer, Exodus 15:26. I was able to sit through hearing the message without getting angry. For a long time any message on healing made me angry. I would ask God, "Why didn't you heal my baby?". I guess that is progress.


Saturday, February 19, 2011

Still Missing Her

Seven months has gone by since Faith grew her wings. I miss her so much. I keep hoping and praying that I get to hold her in my dreams and that hasn't happened yet. It only happened once. Today I was thinking to myself, maybe we should have ventilated her. Regardless I would have loved her anyways. It just hurts so much. So many of my friends and family have came home with their baby. Why not me? Feelings of jealousy are still there but at the same time relief that they didn't have to go through what I went through. Well that is all for today.


Saturday, February 12, 2011

More Trials but Still Trusting....

Four weeks ago we had another blow come our way. Will got his 4 wks termination notice at work. It is so frustrating. One thing after another! Regardless we are still going to trust God. I admit it isn't easy, especially what we have dealt with in the past year.

Today we are going to my friends daughter 1st birthday party. I am a little nervous because I am not sure how it is going to go with me emotionally. I will keep my head up and be joyful for little Aletheia! What a precious little girl!

Bye for now!