Music

It was a frustrating night, up every 2 hours for feedings.  This morning, it was all worth it.  When she finally was ready to get up around 8:30am.  We have music going in her room constantly.  We notice that she loves music and it relaxes her.  As I was changing her diaper I was singing along to the music and she was just smiling away.  Instead of bringing her down to the living room we sat in the chair in her room.  As I was singing along it sounded like she was trying to sing along with me.  I love these moments with Joy.  You know she is happy and excited because those hiccups came.  The best thing that happened to me since I got married was being a Mom.  I would not trade anything for her.  Joy is doing what her name is, she has brought joy to our life.

Anna

Sugar

The hardest obstacle for me in this weight loss is sugar.  I have such a sweet tooth.  When I make coffee I have to have sugar but I have been using sweetener but I know they are not that good for you either.  So I try to avoid having coffee too often.  Using the flavored coffee helps.  Most of them are 5 calories and 1g of carbohydrates.  So I am able to get away with not adding sugar.


Another way is I try to go for fruit instead of chocolate bars and other candy or cake.  As long as I have fruit in the house it helps.  When I am out that is where I mess up.  I will end up getting a chocolate bar.  The good thing is that I have been staying away from pop, and when I do have that urge I will have a diet pop.  Maybe I should try that nestle carbonated water as a substitute.


Gotta run! Joy is awake.


Anna

Pizza

Last night was a struggle.  I was hungry and the temptation was so strong to just order a pizza.  The good news is that I did not give in.


Anna

Weight loss

Well since I have had the baby it has been a struggle to get back on track with my healthy eating.  I am a big stress/emotional eater.  Adjusting to life with a newborn has not been very easy.  So thankful for the help from my Mom.  I considered being a part of a new show on weight loss but there was an issue and that was because I could not get a registered dietitian.  Honestly with the increasing issue of obesity that should be covered under OHIP.  The positive end is that I do get some assistance from my hubby's work and they do all over the phone.  


Yesterday I officially started tracking my food on My Fitness Pal.  It was so hard yesterday.  I was naughty. Today I was better.  I went to MacDonald's and had a Chicken Caesar Salad and a diet coke.  Normally I would get a double quarter pounder meal with large fries and large coke. It is a start.  Next time I think I should just stick with water.  I do crave the carbonation a lot.  So I will opt for the diet pop.


The weight loss so far since I had the baby is 38lbs.  Pretty much the pregnancy weight is gone.


Anna

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

Overwhelmed with Life

There is so much in my life that is going on.  Adjusting to having a baby.  It is not so easy.  I knew that it would not be an easy change in life.  It just seems to be taking longer than expected.  So many things I have noticed is that Joy does not handle large amounts of people at once and she gets really nervous around other children.  I notice she is so jumpy.  I love this weather we are having.  It is frustrating not being able to take Joy out to enjoy it because she seems to have a negative reaction.  


As you read in the previous entry it was also Faith's 2nd Anniversary.  


Then there is other situations. I just want to be able to be honest with people with being ignored afterwards.  I have held in so much.  It is getting to the point where I cannot take it anymore.  It feels like my husband and I cannot do anything right.  So I have come to conclusion, we are just going to live our life and if anyone does not approve that is their problem.  We are happy with our life.  We do not need materialistic things to make us happy.  We do not need a car, nor a drivers license to be happy.  Yes, it is a bonus, but when your cannot afford a car, gas and plus insurance and maintenance what is the point? 


That is what is going on in my life right now.


Anna

Faith's 2nd Anniversary

Today marked the second anniversary of Faith's birth and passing.  This year was harder than last year.  I spent it with my Mom and Joy.  It sucks that Will had to work.  Did not go anywhere.  I wish I was able to go the cemetery to visit her but I was not able to go.  I feel so bad for not going there, but that is the last place I should be to visit her.  


I spent the day shedding several tears and snuggles with Joy.  I think she sensed my sadness today because she has been fussy.


Always in my heart and mind Faith.  You may be in Heaven but you will never be forgotten.


Anna

Joy's first Cold

I knew I would experience this eventually.  Still I feel so unprepared and helpless.  So far all we can do is give her saline drops for nasal relief.  It is hard to try to sleep at night hearing her cough, for the fear of her puking and choking on her vomit. 


One thing is that I am amazed that she is happy even though she is sick.


Anna

Adjusting

For the past several weeks I have had so much help from my Mom. Now that Mom has been trying to take steps back. I have been finding it hard. This morning it was so frustrating. Trying to figure out what she wants can be challenging.

Although I have my rough moments when I see that beautiful smile, it just makes me happy.

Anna

6wks

I cannot believe how fast 6wks has gone by. I just look at her and I am so happy. She mimics you, she even gives kisses.

Yes, I have my rough days. The really fussy days are hard. I am just so blessed to have a wonderful Mom to help out.

Anna