Last weekend was Faith's 6 month anniversary. Some days are still harder than others. I hate it when the days leading up to it my emotions are everywhere. I tend to snap. Those days I try to avoid being around people.
We got more bad news but I can't share that. It is hard to "Trust God". I want to but I find it very difficult to take those steps, and not be angry at God. All I can say on that issue is Help! Honestly I find it very hard to go to church. I feel that there isn't anyone to talk to because I know people will say, "Have faith, Pray etc." I am sorry but that is not what I want to hear. The church these days need to realize some people don't want advice they just want a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen. Please don't take what I am saying the wrong way. It is my thoughts and feelings coming out. I love you my brothers and sisters in Christ very much.
Now I find I am at the point if the sight of a baby doesn't upset me, I have the strong desire to hold that baby. I can't walk up to a stranger, "Oh may I hold your baby?" I think they will think I am some crazy woman. Hopefully we will concieve soon. I hate the empty arms feeling.
Thank you all for reading my blog entry.
Love,
Anna
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